Wednesday 22 June 2016

Fear or Respect? The Downside of African Parenting

Dedicated to every father.

 Let me start by redefining who a father is. A father is an adult male who is legally married and has given birth to a child.
In Nigeria, my country, most African parents, especially our dads have grown so controlling that they have forgotten their actual role in life. This has led their children to fear instead of respect them. Confused? Let me throw more light on this.
We will look at a critical example of a father of seven girls and one boy who always and perpetually yells at them for the slightest mistakes. When a child buys or borrows a decent movie from a neighbor or friend, it becomes a huge problem. These girls cannot even communicate freely with their parents. Any day the dad declares his intention to travel for a day, joyous shouts and celebrations are heard. "When the cat is away the mice comes to play.” I so much believe in the words of Mrs. Ngozi Chimamanda Adichie, a well known African feminist who believes in equality and communication between children and their parents.
 Imagine a father who won’t allow their children to listen to music or even browse the Internet on their phones. Sounds ancient? But its happening in our 21st century.
A girl can't greet her fellow classmate simply because he is a male? And dad would always say, “There is no sacrament between a boy and a girl!” Oh, please? I beg to differ. What sort of shallow way of thinking is that? I don't mean that there shouldn't be restriction or discipline but you do not cage a girl child- she is not a wild animal! This hideous training is not given to the boy child; why if I may ask? Dads, are you scared you might "emasculate” them?
When a female child doesn't get her place in the world, they tend to behave as they so desire. They can't wear trousers, can't make up, put on lipstick or do their nails? Really, what a myopic way of reasoning! When a father and a daughter can't have a peaceful discussion, what do you think would happen? Of course the female child will never respect but rather fear their dad. Is this the way it is suppose to be?
 Even most wives are not excluded from the prison of a house. Whenever a child, especially our female child, goes out anywhere they tend to misuse the little freedom.
 Fathers, please look into this matter, retrace your footsteps, and watch the rate of immorality and waywardness reduce to a bare minimum. This is a wake up call to everyone. Train a female child well, and you train a nation.
- Cynthia D., Gfaze Team

No comments:

Post a Comment